So many ideas

so little time

woman staring at the stars with upturned face

I had the most interesting conversation on how I wasn’t reliable because I filtered everything through an extremely creative brain. I know that wasn’t what was said, but it felt like I was being put into a tight box that just didn’t fit. I’ve always thought that coloring outside the lines was more interesting. Boxes are not my thing even though for a long time, cats would show me the delights of cardboard boxes.

As a side tangent, I used to attract cats of all kinds. They would sit on my lap, nuzzle my face, and lead me to interesting places. When I got sick and had to take medications, I must have smelled like old sick meat. Cats would screech when I was anywhere near them. Losing the friendship of cats was sad and marked the end of another life.

So I am used to people who think that I am very intelligent, but are surprised when I say some so creative and so off the wall that they can’t take me seriously. It’s just the way my brain thinks. To be fair I’ve been very tired and volatile lately. I think it is because I don’t know what I really want and I am still in the healing phase. I’m impatient. I’m tired of waiting.

It doesn’t help that the weather is echoing my moods The sharp winds blowing the clouds makes it dangerous for me to walk outside. The wind rattles the window and tries to force its way inside.

To distract me, I’m listening to an Arabic beat. I found some spanish moor music that lead me to the haunting sounds of the MidEast music. Before I was listening to Jazz and then the blues because it filled an empty spot left by Foxy.

Yesterday I decided that it was time to experiment with AI. I’ve been using AI for graphics, which has opened up a different world. I thought of going from my scribbles to painting, but I’m very sensitive to smells. Maybe later when I can paint outside.

One of my creative partners introduced me to Sunu, an AI music program. It is amazing how it can take my words and make them sing. Time to experiment. Time to do something different.

And back to my side tangent: Thankfully, I haven’t lost dogs. They come to me and sit on my feet, even ones I haven’t me before. They look up at me with sad brown eyes as if to say, everything will be okay if I just pet them. And when I pet them, I do—