In the Beginning
I am not Athena, burst forth from the head of Zeus. In the same vein, I didn't write stories from my birth. I wrote my first story around 1999 and didn't write my next story until almost 2001.Then, I finished my first novel in 2010. So in the scheme of things I haven't been writing that long. But before story, I was a poet. And before that, I directed little plays for my siblings.
I wrote my first full poem when I was ten. I don't have it anymore, but it was very like Robert Frost's poems. My mother liked it so much that she published in the church paper. I didn't realize how neat that was until later when I was sending my poetry to other gatekeepers.
There should have been angels singing that first time I was published. Maybe I was too young to understand. It was many years later in my late thirties that I had some of my poetry published in few poetry journals. It was then when I wanted to at least recoup the time and effort it took to write, that I was hit with reality. Maybe others had been able to live off their poetry, but nowadays, publishers considered poetry worth little more than a copy of a literary magazine. In fact the condescension I encountered during those days made me rethink my goals. I turned to story.
By this time I had done my six years of Navy service and I was using my GI bill to get an English Literature degree. At the time, I found that I had a gift for writing essays and papers. I basically kept my grades to a high level because I was able to write three papers or more in my English classes and two other papers for my other classes. I was pretty good at writing the basic academic essay and supporting documentation. How hard could it be to write a story?
I came to story with an arrogance that was cut down to humility after several failed attempts to write anything resembling a story. My academic writing was not a good start in putting the pieces together. I could dissect a story to its parts like dialogue, plot line, characters, etc-- but when I put them together I had a mishmash of words and my characters were lifeless.
I did get my first acceptable story published--but now when I think about it, it was probably just luck. I wanted to be able to write story consistently. I wanted to enjoy what I wrote and really like the characters. I tried writing description, but I just didn't seem to find the way of using it. I talked about grounding the characters in time and place. Then I found others who were writing.
I was finally writing a passable story when I found Dean Wesley Smith and his online classes. As I took these classes and really thought about the exercises, I saw that my stories started to come to life. In all my arrogance, I hadn't understood the technical skills needed to write a good story.
I didn't know how to use emotion and the senses to make a life-like character. It has been a challenge to write fiction.
In between all of this, I was diagnosed and treated for Wegener's Granulomatosis, lost my hubby to cancer, and started dialysis.
Each day I re-evaluate where I am. It is harder to write when I am fatigued from just surviving day to day. I don't have that second or third wind that I used to have when I reached my first wall. So I write slower.
Poetry still comes more easily to me than story. Still I want to write.