I get by with a little help from my friends
Cancer Treatment Journey
“What would you do if I sang out of tune?” —Joe Cocker
It’s been awhile since that dramatic re-life, I have been to the hospital twice more— one was to get a feeding tube and one was when I couldn’t swallow or breathe.
All of it was to survive this next round of treatment.
Whenever I am in a traumatic situation and are picking up the shards of my personality and life, I wonder what purpose does this serve. Why do I get hit over and over. Am I not learning the lesson? What is the lesson? Why?
You must consume more? When I can’t even swallow well? Another fun symptom of this combo of a bio-targeted drug and radiation.
Because I had a Great Love means it must be balanced with Great Suffering and Sorrow?
My creative well is so focused on healing, and eating, and drinking, and staying well that I have no time to think of anything else.
No time to think of writing and drawing my little scribbles. Time to put another spoonful of pudding in my mouth while I listen to old classics that had retreated into my brain archives.
“Rain on me” —Phil Collins
I remember my mother say to me once when I tried to change from the topic of Dad and talk about me.
“Not everything is about you, Cynthia.”
She was right, but not totally. My experiences are my own and hers are hers. These experiences can overtake sensible beings. After living in the normal world for awhile, I do know I wasn’t raised to be one of you.
My dad would have done well as an Amish man. I grew up in many places without running water or electricity. Heck we still used an outhouse when I left home because the pipes would freeze in the winter. He wanted to choose my husband. My Great Love was not what he wanted for me. We had a difficult relationship.
The same with my mother.
One thing that is good through this entire experience is that I can think of my past misdeeds (some were really really fun) and clear out the bitterness.
My dad died over five years ago and my mother turn 85 this year and she is healthier than I am, while she is caretaking my Down Syndrome sister.
I hope to live that long.
I was so happy to see this Post😊 After our phone chat -I either lost touch or you weren’t Posting anything??😏Anyway~I’m glad to hear you’re still in the fight ☺️You Are Truly a Brave & Determined Woman & that really doesn’t surprise me👍 I’ve know you since you were born & watched you grow & mature & you have always been that way😊💖
I know everyone has their trials in life~ My trials were very physical when I was young but as I have progressed through life to ‘old age’ they are more emotional😏 The outcomes are not really up to me~So I’ve had ‘To Let It Go’ & just try to understand other’s reactions to situations😊 I’m so Happy that you were Blessed with the Love & Closeness that you we able to experience with your Love!
You are an inspiration to me☺️ I Love You & wish we could be closer, miles wise, in these years! Keep Trying for that age you want😊 May you experience Many More Blessings 🤗🦋🌺🙏🏼🫶🏻💞
I’ve come to realize that this life is filled with tests and suffering. You were truly blessed to find and to be with your Great Love! That is something beautiful that few even get to experience. Yet, my heart goes out to you for all you’ve suffered. My road has also been lined with real hard experiences, but somehow we, the warriors, rise up and keep pushing forward. I pray you find some relief. But I do know eventually good hearted people will one day find their reward. Hang in there my Friend. Hugs!