Another medical journey

Nanowrimo came to a screeching halt

neon middle-aged woman looking out the window into the city contemplates the stars

My third-floor apartment is high enough to hear the semi-trucks wail down the freeway, their loudness echoing off the noise barriers. It reminds me of listening to the trains as they rolled by, their chimes inviting me to see the lonely roads and find little towns in hidden places.

I have started to feel cage.

Just when I thought that the BK and CMV viruses were dead, just when I thought I could safely go into the wider world, my maintenance guy brought me a filter and left me with a little bombshell - a norovirus.

It showed up two days later. The projectile vomiting and constant diarrhea made me dehydrated. I ended up calling 911 after 8 hours of this. I went into the the hospital the day after Veteran’s Day.

Happy Veteran’s Day.

I stayed two and a half days.

Before this small emergency, I had gone to an ENT to have the ulcer on my tongue inspected. It had been a problem for almost 8 months and I had been showing it to my doctors. I was give the reassurance that it would disappear when my immune system came back.

Apparently I don’t complain like I should. I had told them, I hadn’t cried, and I had showed them the problem. I wanted to know the next step. Finally, I was told I needed to see an ENT, which turned out to be Dr. Henry. I think she knew there was a problem as soon as she saw the ulcers.

A week later, she biopsied the ulcer, then excised it. It is exactly what you think, she cut off the side of my tongue. I was able to drive home, but by the time I was ready for bed, I was in such agony that tears poured from my eyes for hours. I couldn’t swallow because my tongue had swollen and the saliva drooled out of my mouth. This lasted for five-six hours until I collapsed from the suffering.

Nothing made me feel better. Lidocaine, Tylenol, even Benedryl, which is my go-to, did not touch the pain. I wept.

This was before the norovirus.

The Friday after I came home from the hospital, I got a call from Dr. Henry. I had cancer. The cancer cells had reached a big nerve in my tongue. I would probably need radiation and/or more surgery.

I have had a lot of time to think of the whys. I have never smoked, ever. So why do non-smokers get something that is mostly a problem for smokers or chewing tobacco users. Why am I given another health challenge? Is this my future?

My gut, or you can call it intuition, is calm. Or as my primary care doctor said, I was the kind of person that bounced back so I’d probably live to my 80s.

I still yearn to travel. I still want to see the beaches and submerge my feet in the ocean.